Education-Reporting-Safety

There are several packets available for you to review.  If you would like more information feel free to call anytime and a staff member or advocate will  be able to further aid you.  Please see attachments below.Here is a list of the packets available for you right now, click on the icons listed under the sub pages at the bottom of the page to read more:

• Women
• Male
• Female Adolescents
• Male Adolescents
• Parents of Adolescents
• Parents of Children 12 and Under
• Concerned Persons

• Planning

Abuse is not your fault.  No person has control over their abuser’s violence.  Having a safety plan is an option to reduce risks of harm to yourself and to your children.  Feel free to download the safety plan worksheet that is attached below and use it for your own situation.  Please make sure to check your personal safety plan and share it with your children if they are age-appropriate or other trusted support people.  Also, make sure to keep your safety plan in a place that is not available to your abuser!  Download the form attached at the end of the page to help you develop a plan if you are in an abusive relationship.

Creating a Family Safety Plan

If you are in fear of your safety and/or there is an individual that will not leave you alone, you can consider filing for an Order for Protection (OFP), or an Harassment Restraining Order (HRO).  Fees for filing these papers in civil court when a sexual assault or domestic violence is involved are waived for victims.  For court forms and more information on how to file those go to: http://www.mncourts.gov.  For help writing and filing those forms, call Central MN Sexual Assault Center at 320-251-4357.

There is no perfect way to protect yourself against rape or assault, but the concepts noted below have worked for many people.  See attachment below for more information on safety and prevention:

• Communicate These Limits

Get those limits across to the other person.  Other people cannot read your mind.

• Trust Your Feelings

If you feel that you are being pressured into unwanted sex, you are right.  Say No firmly, get away, and tell a trusted support person.  Yell if you need to.

• Pay Attention To Behavior That Doesn’t Seem Right

1. Someone sitting or standing too close who enjoys your discomfort.
2. Power stares-looking through you or down at you.
3. Someone who blocks your way.
4. Someone speaking in a way or acting as if he or she knows you more intimately than is proper.
5. Someone who grabs or pushes you to get his or her way.
6. Someone who doesn’t listen or disregards what you are saying, like “NO.”

• Be Assertive

1. Get angry when someone does something to you that you don’t want.
2. Act immediately with a negative response.
3. Stand up for yourself, it’s okay to be rude to someone who’s sexually pressuring you, even if it hurts their feelings.  After all, they aren’t paying attention to your feelings.

• Prevention

Things you can do to lower the risk of sexual assault:

• In Your Car

Keep your doors locked at all times, even if you are leaving your car for only a short time.  If you have car trouble and must stay with your car, raise your hood, get into your car, lock your doors, and wait for the police.  It’s usually safer not to accept help from a stranger.  At night, park in well-lighted areas.  When you approach your parked car, walk confidently, have the key in your hand and look around outside and inside your car before you get in.  Don’t pick up hitchhikers.

• At Home

Keep your doors locked at all times even if you leave for just a moment.  If possible, use a 180 degree peephole on your entry door, and avoid letting anyone in you don’t know or aren’t expecting (service repairmen, etc.).  Use initials and not your first name on your mailbox and in the telephone directory.  Leave your radio on while you are out, turned to a talk radio station.

• On The Phone

Avoid giving out personal information or confirming your telephone number to someone you don’t know.  Never say on your answering machine that you are not home, or refer to the fact that you live alone.  Leave a message such as: “We are not taking calls at this time, please leave your name and number and your call will be returned at our earliest convenience.”  Report any obscene phone calls to the telephone company and any personal threats you receive to the police.  If you are receiving obscene calls, answer your calls with your radio turned on a talk show so your caller will not know you are alone.

• Out – Of – Doors

Avoid walking or jogging alone at night; if you do, follow well-lighted, well-traveled routes and vary both the time and rate of your routine.  Carry protective gear such as mace or a whistle.  Avoid conversations with strangers even to give directions, especially if you are in a place where you could be cornered.  Don’t hitchhike.  Don’t accept rides from strangers.  If you frequent recreational places alone or with other women, especially at night, be careful whom you leave the place with.

1. Don’t put yourself in the position of being alone with someone you know only casually.  When dating someone new, stick to public places until you know him or her well.
2. Don’t give personal biographical information to someone you have just met.  Always be aware that someone may want to take advantage of your compassion.  Don’t assume that requests for money or physical help are legitimate.
3. Remember that your consent for sharing a social occasion is not consent for sex.

Stalking Safety

Stalking is a course of conduct that is repetitive and is directed at a specific person that places them in fear for their safety.  Stalking is illegal in all fifty states and the District of Columbia.  If you are being stalked it is important that you have a network of safe people that you can talk to, a safe place to go, a plan of action when stalking occurs, changing routes to work/school, consider changing or having an unlisted phone number, do not engage in conversation with the stalker, record all messages/print all e-mails and texts, use a stalking log, carry a stalking sack(see information below), develop a victim/offender information folder with a staff member at Central MN Sexual Assault Center by calling 320-251-4357.

Stalking sacks should include: copy of a safety plan, cell phone, stalking log(notebook of stalking incidences), watch with date, disposable camera, tape recorder, pen and paper, literature on stalking and safety planning, safety whistle, flashlight, pepper spray/mace.

• Technology Safety Planning (Information from the National Network to End Domestic Violence)

1. Trust your instincts. If you suspect that the abusive person knows too much, it is possible that your phone, computer, email, or other activities are being monitored.
2. Plan for safety. Navigating violence, abuse, and stalking is very difficult and dangerous.  Talk to an advocate at Central MN Sexual Assault Center for more ideas on how to stay safe at 320-251-4357.
3. Take precautions if you have a “techy” abuser. If computers and technology are a profession or a hobby for the abuser/stalker, trust your instincts.
4. Use a safer computer. If anyone abusive has access to your computer, he/she might be monitoring your computer activities.  Try to use a safer computer when you look for help, a new place to live, etc.
5. Create a new email account. If you suspect that anyone abusive can get access to your email, consider creating an extra email account on a safer computer.  Use an anonymous name, and account, not your real name.
6. Check your cell phone settings. If you are using a cell phone provided by the abusive person, consider turning it off when not in use.
7. Change passwords and pin numbers. Some abusers use victim’s email and other accounts to impersonate and cause harm.  Change any password protected accounts.
8. Minimize use of cordless phones or baby monitors. If you don’t want others to overhear your conversations, turn baby monitors off when not in use and use a traditional corded phone for sensitive conversations.
9. Use a donated or new cell phone. When making or receiving private calls or arranging escape plans, try not to use a shared or family cell phone because cell phone billing records and phone logs might show your plan to an abuser.
10. Ask about your records and data. Many court systems and government agencies are publishing records to the internet.  Ask agencies how they protect their data.
11. Get a private mailbox and don’t give out your real address. When asked by businesses or professionals and others for your address, have a private mailbox address or a safer address to give them.  Talk to an advocate about at Central MN Sexual Assault Center about options for setting up a PO box.
12. Search your name on the internet. Major search engines such as Google and Yahoo may have links to your contact information.  Contact website to have your information removed.