1. Deep Breathing: Can be done anytime.  Take a deep slow breath in for a count of 8.  Breathe out slowly for a count of 8.  Do this 5 times when feeling tense.

2. Stretching:  Take Breaks to have a stretch.  Raise your arms above your head.  Reach up as far as you can.  Bend to each side.  Try to touch your toes.  Do these stretches slowly.

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation:  Learn to tense and relax each muscle group.  Start with your left hand.  Make a fist and tense for a count of 5.  Then relax your fist for a count of five.  Do this for your right hand, left arm, right arm, shoulders, left leg, right leg.

4. Meditation:  Assume a comfortable position in a quiet setting.  Relax as much as possible.  Try tensing your muscles and then relaxing.  Focus on breathing.  Each time you breathe out, repeat a word such as calm.  As you do this, different thoughts will come to mind.  Each time this happens, shift your attention away from your thoughts, back to your breathing and mantra.

5. Try using meditation when you get upset.  Relax, focus on your breathing, repeat your mantra, and drive anxious or angry thoughts from your mind.

6. Safe Places Imagery:  What’s your favorite place?  A beautiful beach, a mountain cabin, a park with lot’s of trees and flowers, your bedroom, or garden?  Imagine it in vivid detail.  What can you see?  Name 3 things.  Hear?  Name three things.  What does it smell like?  What can you touch?  Who is there with you?  If you have trouble thinking of an image, look through magazines, travel brochures.  Now bring your image to your mind next time you’re feeling stressed.

An Adult Child Abuse Survivor’s Guide to the Holidays

Some tips for survivors over the holidays:

DO NOT ABANDON YOURSELF-You may have felt abandoned as a child.  You did not deserve this.

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE TODAY-You are no longer a child.  Indeed, there is a hurt child who is alive and well within you.  But, now you’re an adult who can make choices.

ONE OF THE CHOICES YOU CAN MAKE IS TO NOT GO TO THE ABUSIVE FAMILY’S HOUSE-You doesn’t have to go.  You can tell them you’re sick if you you can’t tell them the actual reason.

IF YOU DO CALL IN SICK, DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE IF YOU KNOW YOUR ABUSIVE FAMILY MEMBERS ARE TRYING TO CALL YOUR PHONE-Check caller ID.

IF YOU HAVE TO BE WITH ABUSIVE FAMILY MEMBERS, DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO TO STAY CENTERED AS YOU CANNOT ABANDON YOURSELF AND YOU NEED TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE TODAY

STAYING CENTERED MAY INVOLVE MANY TACTICS:

GO TO YOUR ABUSERS HOUSE WITH YOUR REAL FAMILY, YOUR HUSBAND, YOUR KIDS, YOUR CHOSEN FAMILY OF DEAR FRIENDS WHO BELIEVE IN YOU

THIS IS A BIG ONE-STAY SOBER-Using creates a false sense of relaxation

HELP IN THE KITCHEN.  DO THIS ONLY IF SUCH ACTIVITIES ARE NOT TRIGGERING

SIT BY A WINDOW SO YOU CAN LOOK OUTSIDE-Remember there’s more to the world beyond the dark cave of your abuser’s home.

GO OUTSIDE FOR A FEW MINUTES AND TAKE A WALK IN THE BIGGER WORLD

PUT CRISIS LINE NUMBERS ON SPEED DIAL-CALL ANYTIME

REMEMBER WHAT YOU LEARNED ABOUT COPING FROM A COUNSELOR OR THERAPIST

MINIMIZE CONVERSATION WITH THE PERPETRATOR OR ABUSER

WALK OUT THE SECOND THINGS GET TO BE TOO MUCH.  JUST GO.

HEALING VOICES

Tuesday, January 24th 4:00 pm
President’s Fireside Hall, Main Building, CSB
Contact Peggy at 320-251-4357 for more information or if you are unable to make this initial meeting

November 16, 2011 is “Give to the Max Day” in Minnesota.  The Center has set up donation information on the www.giveMN.org; if you go to the website you can do a search for CENTRAL MN SEXUAL ASSAULT CENTER to find our location.

Please spread the word to your friends and family about this great fund raising opportunity for the Center.